Monday, May 17, 2010

A Blah Weekend

I wish I could say that my recovery from Saturday morning was quick and simple, that I got right back on it and was completely focused for the remainder of the weekend. I can't say that. I didn't. This weekend was just blah!

The weather was overcast. The temperatures were lower than usual, and it rained most of the weekend. In my book, perfect weather for rest and recuperation. But not for me, and not this weekend.

Food items included M&M's, popcorn, doughnuts, and cookie dough. I just couldn't shake the blahs. I didn't want to take care of anyone, including myself. So I slept and sat around and watched television. My poor kids; what a terrible example.

While I ate several things that I shouldn't have, I didn't lose direction completely. Believe it or not, I counted every single point of every single thing that I put in my mouth. I'm not sure of my motives. Did I want to beat myself up over it all week? Did I want to see how far I could get to the edge and not go over? Or was this an attempt at hanging on for dear life to what I know to be the right path?

My guess is that I was trying to be "bad" without completely throwing in the towel.

No matter. Today is a new day. I am going to refocus and get myself going in the healthy direction. If I can't do it for myself, then I most certainly can do it for Hannah and Nathan. They deserve a healthy mom. They need to see an example of someone who commits to something and WORKS at it – no matter how hard and no matter how long.

So, today, just as I'm getting started, I receive my verse of the day, reminding me of the truth:

"Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God!" (Psalms 42:11, NLT)

Good is good, all the time.

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